With no vacation in sight this summer, I have been thinking about what taking a break might look like and why after months of not working I really feel the need for one. I am sure I can’t be the only person with that question. I know that there are people, assuming they have not been closely impacted by the pandemic, who have found this time to be a peaceful and productive one. I am not one of them and have felt guilty about not been able to use this time effectively. It is only now, as I can begin to emerge a little, that the full impact of the upending of everything is becoming clear to me. I am thrilled at the prospect of being able to work again, but at the same time I feel even more strongly the need for a little self-care. It sounds like a contradiction, but in the midst of everything, I was too caught up in the stress of the situation to actively focus on the things that could have helped. There were many things I wanted to do, but somehow I couldn’t settle to any of them, despite having ample time. Instead I turned to things that didn’t require me to self-start, finding that I was only able to concentrate and get motivated when I was being given direction by someone else. As a result I began doing the same things every day that required little thought on my part, PE classes and singing lessons directed by a teacher, and by sticking with a rigid schedule. Now as those activities are winding down and some sense of normalcy is returning, I am feeling less anxious but a little depleted. On the other hand, I also feel ready to get to grips with those activities I have spent months wanting to do and yet avoiding!
I find it very interesting that as the possibility of working again becomes a reality, I feel more able to relax and focus than when I had all the time in the world to do so. I recognise that reflexology is such a grounding practice for me that it helps me to move forward with a sense of purpose – not knowing if I would be able to offer it again left me a little bereft, almost drifting and with a real loss of identity. Now the opportunity is there to practice again, if clients feel comfortable to resume of course, much of my restlessness is dissipating. It’s as if I lost myself for a while but am now finding my way again, with a new determination and, more importantly, the desire to get to grips with all the things I ‘should’ have been doing for months. Having more to do has given me back my anchor.
So I am going to take a break, a break to get things done, to become busier in fact, and I think that will be the ‘restful vacation’ I truly need. For the rest of the summer, I will be posting on my Facebook page but not writing blog posts, with a plan to revisit in the fall – we will see how that goes! In the meantime, I hope you can take a break, busy or otherwise, as this year we all need to find our own way to rest, perhaps more than ever before.
Lucky for me I get to still get to see you. I so understand what you wrote. I was at a complete loss while in PA. Lost the first month to be paralyzed with fear. It took me some time to realize I had an opportunity. There was nothing to clean or sort at the house. I often referred to it like being in a hotel room. Eventually I committed to exercise and thank goodness I did and am still doing it. The world came to a stand still. Never felt anything like it before. Talk about slowing the hands of time. Only now can I look back and see it clearly.
It was great seeing you this week. You worked so hard to get it up and running in such a responsible way. I am super grateful and impressed. Thank you for all you did to serve your clients. My leg pain is back in full force. Haven’t had this type of pain since before starting with you. So happy to be getting some normalcy back. So while you take a break, thank you for your commitment to your clients. We desperately need you! ♥️